Why is it so hard to date nowadays? Today people are staying single longer than ever before, we’re focusing on our careers and having adventures before settling down. But there’s one huge problem that people who are ready for love find out quickly…dating today sucks! Whether you were off having fun or are recently back in the dating game you may have noticed that dating today isn’t the same as it was 10 years ago. Here are some reasons why it is hard to date these days:
Why It Is So Hard to Date?
One of the biggest culprits to the change in the dating world is technology. Technology has done wonders for our lives but when it comes to serious dating our phones usually get in the way. I have so many people contact me for matchmaking because they just aren’t having success in the traditional dating scene or through dating apps like Tinder. There are lots of different reasons why going to a bar to meet someone doesn’t work out anymore but I’ve found there are two main problems; approachability and safety. Going up to someone is intimidating, back in the day people didn’t have their phones to hide behind, so you were forced to make eye contact with people and start up a conversation. Now, everyone has their phone to hide behind so they don’t have to have awkward small-talk conversations, but the problem is if you don’t have those initial conversations then you’ll never get deeper and be able to meet someone. Safety is also a big concern at the bar, especially for women. When someone does approach us we’re constantly worried if he is just a nice guy looking to meet someone or if they want to make us into a skin suit. In the end, when it comes to meeting people in bars safely just don’t go home with them that night, don’t tell anyone where you live and make sure your friends know where you are.
Too Many Choices!
While you have to always make sure to stay safe on Tinder the biggest way it’s screwing up our dating lives is by giving us too many choices! Tinder, Bumble, and all the other dating apps have brought superficial dating to a whole new level, you have to swipe left or right before you get to know the person so you could potentially be swiping away the person of your dreams! When people come to me with a long list of physical demands for a potential partner I always question their motives for being in a relationship. Would you rather have arm-candy or someone to grow old with? Looks change but personalities typically stay the same in adulthood. While meeting people through apps and online is great it leads to a major problem; we get to filter our messages. When we’re talking to someone we like obviously it’s key to make a good first impression so we carefully decided what we’re going to say and what photos to show but this can lead to disaster, what if you actually aren’t compatible?!? When you’re actually talking to someone you don’t have the luxury of filtering what you say, you just have to be yourself and hope for the best.
So what’s my advice for dating in this brave new world? It’s simple; bring it back to face-to-face. To learn about dating today check out my new book Single in the City, it offers tips on how to navigate today’s dating scene and what to do to finally meet your match!
Guest post courtesy of Laura Bilotta.
Laura Bilotta is the author of “Single in the City: From Hookups & Heartbreaks, To Love & Lifemates, Tales & Tips To Attract Your Perfect Match”. She has hosted over twelve hundred speed dating/mixer events, coached hundreds of men and women into dating gurus, and she has proudly played matchmaker for countless love-seeking singles. Laura is also the host of the Dating and Relationship Show, Sunday Nights at 9pm on AM640.
Website: www.singleinthecity.ca Instagram: @Laura_Bilotta
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